j'ai le monde au bout de mes doigts.

Being unemployed amidst a recession,and looking for
an apartment in New York on less than stellar credit
because I chose to further my academic and career goals
by going to grad school, is not the most spectacular life I must
say. However, I try not to let it bother me. I know
I will not be homeless, I have access to funds,
I'm not hungry. I do well just going to museums and
parks and wandering aimlessly through this beautifully
insane city. Reminding myself that I really do live here
now, and that soon things will fall into place.

I've also stopped with the cocktails for a while,
and restarted on the cigarettes because I must have
something. Stopped looking for love in bars, because
it isn't there. At least not in any bar I know of.
I do still like going and watching people in them
though. Sitting with my seltzer and lime. I leave
when too many couples start to assemble because
while I understand that it just isn't the right time
it still stings a bit.

I rediscovered this meditation just now which
has such an incredible resonance with where I
am in terms of living right now.

...............................................

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive God to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.