Another Birthday.

Defense against Melencholy

Sydney Smith to Lady Georgiana Morpeth. 1820.



"Dear Lady Georgiana,
Nobody has suffered more from low spirits than I have done
- so I feel for you. Here are my Perscriptions:
1st. Live as well as you dare.
2nd. Go into the showerbath with a small quantity of water
at a temperature low enough to give you a slight sensation
of cold, 75º or 80º.
3rd. Amusing books.
4th. Short views of human life - not further than dinner or tea.
5th. Be as busy as you can.
6th. See as much as you can of those friends who like and respect you.
7th. And of those acquaintances who amuse you.
8th. Make no secret of low spirits to your friends, but talk of
them freely - they are always worse for dignified concealment.
9th. Attend to the effects tea and coffee produce upon you.
10th. Don't expect too much from human life - a sorry business at the best.
11th. Compare your lot with that of other people.
12th. Avoid poetry, dramatic representations (except comedy, music,
serious novels, melancholy, sentimental people, everything likely
to excite feeling or emotion, not ending in active benevolence.
13th. DO GOOD, and endeavour to please everybody of every degree.
14th. Be as much as you can in the open air without fatigue.
15th. Make the room where you commonly sit gay and pleasant.
16th. Struggle little by little against idleness.
17th. Don't be too severe upon yourself, or underrate yourself,
but do yourself justice.
18th. Keep good blazing fires.
19th. Be firm and constant in the exercise of rational religion.
20th. Believe me, dear Lady Georgiana.

Very truly yours,

SYDNEY SMITH."

from: Hesketh Pearson, The Smith of Smiths, Hogarth Press, London, 1984. p.164.

Gays at the hitchin' post

An hour after New York passed Gay Marriage, the Empire State Building
lit up with the rainbow colours. I'd say this is a fantastic kick off
to this weekends festivities. Perhaps I will even go to the parade this year.

Another Pilot Down

Goodnight, Ms. Taylor.

a little reminder

about the fragility of life,
the force of nature,
and much needed perspective on
my place in all of it.

All my best to all those affected in Japan
and elsewhere.

Between a rock & a hard place...

...have pen and paper handy.





Out of my present adversity a
new creative vein has opened.
Is it fueled by stress?
Perhaps uncertainty?
All I know is that something
opened up and I can suddenly
draw again in a way I think
is decent. It's not quite
polished yet, but if I can
keep it going I can get it there.






It also heralds the return of
giant sewing needles. Odd.

...but I'da had to've missed the dance.

2010 Accomplishment
Aside from maintaining my sanity, and working
consistently as a freelancer in NYC, I'm gonna
go with learning to trust people less.

2010 Discovery
I have an incredible amount of resilience.


Favorite 2010 Vacation/Holiday
Spending Thanksgiving in New Mexico with my family.
Mended old fences and got some answers about
who I am becoming and how to keep on track.

Best dining in 2010
My kitchen in New Orleans.

2010 Regret
Nothing I can think of. Lots of bad decisions, but
none that I can say I regret. Perhaps if I repeat them.

Magic Moment in 2010
Getting my Masters in May.

What states did you visit in 2010?
Louisiana, New York, Texas, Colorado, New Mexico, Connecticut,
Kentucky, Tennessee, Pennsylvania, Alabama, Mississippi, West Virginia.

The 2010 Surprise
My baby sister, the Air Force Sargent, having a baby.


Three 2011 Goals
Converse more.
Expect less.
Keep passing the open windows.


(Meme by recommendation of Spo)

The Holstee Manifesto, a typographically sound meditation

as found by Uncle Beefy

in limbo

So yeah, I awoke to this earlier this week.
Tomorrow Hubert the Macbook goes to get a new hard drive.
The day after that I hopefully will not be subjected
to the oddity that is my room mates PC.

not dead, just preoccupied

recent events

Free Cheeseburgers and Nouveau Old Timey Music at Marci Park in Brooklyn









Started dabbling in watercolours


Found a place to keep grapefruit

evenements recents, overdue

j'ai le monde au bout de mes doigts.

Being unemployed amidst a recession,and looking for
an apartment in New York on less than stellar credit
because I chose to further my academic and career goals
by going to grad school, is not the most spectacular life I must
say. However, I try not to let it bother me. I know
I will not be homeless, I have access to funds,
I'm not hungry. I do well just going to museums and
parks and wandering aimlessly through this beautifully
insane city. Reminding myself that I really do live here
now, and that soon things will fall into place.

I've also stopped with the cocktails for a while,
and restarted on the cigarettes because I must have
something. Stopped looking for love in bars, because
it isn't there. At least not in any bar I know of.
I do still like going and watching people in them
though. Sitting with my seltzer and lime. I leave
when too many couples start to assemble because
while I understand that it just isn't the right time
it still stings a bit.

I rediscovered this meditation just now which
has such an incredible resonance with where I
am in terms of living right now.

...............................................

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive God to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

No Where Warm...

I've gotten so bad at this I can't quite believe it.
Actually, I can. I've been going a little mad with the amount of things
I need to do. And madder still with the ferocious nonchalance with which
I manage to avoid doing any of it.Example, the Prague Quadrennial approaches, and digital samples are due in one week exactly and guess who is still assembling the portfolio.

The semester is three weeks from finished, and yet we have two surprise productions
we have to mount. This school is bats in itself. I found out tonight, by pure unadulterated chance, that perhaps once again the higher ups are not communicating at their most effective. It seems that the possibility of my teaching a rendering class has been misread as actually being fact. Never mind that I've just accepted a position in New York. Which I made my advisor very much aware of. I am expecting a thorough tongue lashing from the department head in the morning (afternoon rather) during which I intend to stare out the window and hum to myself inside my head.

I'm wondering what life is like in Astoria, as that is round about where my budget seems to be pointing me.

Hier (yesterday)

English breakfast tea.
model building.
portfolio editing.
Going out for gin and tonics,
despite vow of non drinking until Saturday.
Trying to appreciate the happiness of couples,
instead of tossing them eye daggers.
trying to be more productive
and less lonely.