so yeah..

..broke up with the ex again. this time it's over. we tried to be friends and an epic failure was the result.

So last night I felt like crap, as I posted before. Waking up this morning however I feel only a new mass of freedom.
I think what I was feeling was not lingering affection but clinging to an ideology. I had this view of him that I had
blown out of proportion. Like taking all the good parts and blowing them up and only seeing them. I created an
unrealistic point of view. It's nice to be rid of it. Odd how our own minds can create these little prisons for ourselves
because they sub-consciously need things. Realizing that what I need and what I want from people will be a good
thing to work out, to discover. Instead of clinging to the nearest person who gives me a smile.

Today I go to the races. I've never bet on ponies but I've been advised to go for a trifecta....I think that's how you
spell it.