03 September 2007

because I have to

Having been trained so long to think artisticly about things, to obderve and memorize details and processes, I am a little daunted with the now foreign acedemic world of theatre.
Last week was the begining week of the department of theatre at Tulane. Wednesday through friday I was breifly exposed to how my life will work. One thing became incredibly clear, there will be alot of reading. Deep analytical devouring of plays, theories and histories. I am thinking to myself, "Am I ready for this?" I am used to doing this with paintings, drawings, sculpture. Tangible, visual things made for that purpose. But theatre starts with words, and words and I have been at odds for a very long time.
Initally, what drew me to theatre was that it is in its essence also a tangible art form. You make something happen, and it's live. However, I have forgotten all the underlying turmoil and gravitas that goes into making the essence. Like the world of fine art, the world of live theatre is haunted by the same ridgid, egocentric and product driven traps. Occasionaly one can avoid these traps and work with others to produce brilliant performances. More often than not however a domino efect of toe-stepping occurs and the process becomes a battle of wills and wants rather than a collaborative effort.
Perhaps I've been spoiled in my past collaborations with fellow fine artists in undergrad or maybe I'm just more accostomed to working on my own. Perhaps both. More likely these are just the groanings of my old moorings being uprooted and transplanted to less comfortable surroundings. I'll just have to adjust and deal with the inevitable discomfort, which can at times be an amazing ally in the process of development. It gives you something to push against, and that is easier than pussing aginst nothing.
As for drawing, I really hope to continue my development. I came too far in the past two years to let it all go now. Time may prove to be a restriction, but with my mandatory theatre history class I am at no loss for sketching time. When I get more settled and have a mode of transport, I hope to start back on more large scale projects. I do miss the comfort and comraderie of the studio I left though. I suppose this is the test. In all sorts of unconsidered ways.