31 December 2008

warmth & light

Yesterday was fantastic. Woke up to find a long lost friend online. We hung out and had an incredible time.

Then I went to my favourite cafe, The Flying Star, and had cherry pie and coffee for breakfast...although technically it was noon.
It's a place I've been going since I was a freshman in high school. It started out as a little magazine stand that sold coffee and had a few sandwiches but has turned into an Albuquerque institution with 7 cafe restaurants, 6 satelite cafe's (their actual name).

Next, a trip to Santa Fe's Japanese mountain spa, Ten Thousand Waves.
Three hours of hot water, open air, and possibly seventeen billion stars.
They also have the most amazing smelling bath products.

I'll be going back before I get tattooed.
Oh yeah, I'm getting tattooed.

30 December 2008

Look what Santa brought me!!!

ok not really, but a boy can dream right.

28 December 2008

Farm House Holiday

Will post more pics soon.
And once I can feel my hands again.
Last night it was a whopping 1 degree.

24 December 2008

Happy Christmas

from the Sandia mountains of New Mexico

yes...or no?

I can't decide.

Films: Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle (2008)

Beautiful, brutal, brilliant, baffling.


I think I want to stay in New Orleans for a bit longer than I've been planning. Who knows what I am going to do but finding a city I can live in is a very high selling point on the "I should be here for a bit" scale. Coming back to NM kinda made it clear that although I miss this life i had here I really do need to get on with it. It's also 10 degrees out and last call is at 1:20, I mean really. Besides that though I'm not sure where I am going, what I am doing or who exactly I am. And I am ggod with that, I'm on a decent track. I do know I'd like to have a relationship of a meaningful sort and that I'd like to be in a place I really like being, around people I really like being around. Not to say that I don't have an awesome group of people here, I just need a little discomfort to keep me on my toes.

Fiona says it best,

I certainly haven't been shopping for any new shoes
I certainly haven't been spreading myself around
I still only travel by foot and by foot, it's a slow climb,
But I'm good at being uncomfortable, so
I can't stop changing all the time

I notice that my opponent is always on the go
Won't go slow, so's not to focus, and I notice
He'll hitch a ride with any guide, as long as
They go fast from whence he came
- But he's no good at being uncomfortable, so
He can't stop staying exactly the same

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine

I seem to you to seek a new disaster every day
You deem me due to clean my view and be at peace and lay
I mean to prove I mean to move in my own way, and say,
I've been getting along for long before you came into the play

I am the baby of the family, it happens, so
- Everybody cares and wears the sheeps' clothes
While they chaperone
Curious, you looking down your nose at me, while you appease
- Courteous, to try and help - but let me set your
Mind at ease

22 December 2008

Films: X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Gavin Hood (2009)

I guess it's technically a movie.
It's not even out yet. But Damn. Liev Schreiber and Hugh Jackman. Yowza.

Traveling with Mum.

21 December 2008

Featured Artist: Natalie Dessay

From Olympia, the dolls song.

ça va pas la tête?

Je pense oui. Je serais mieux sans mon esprit problematique.

I'm doing a fantastic job of adjusting to my new found feelings. Feeling is amazing.
Wanting to give love is amazing. Wanting to get loved is a little less amazing though, but hey.
Dennis said he'd try to get me a few dates when I get back to NOLA. I can't wait.

(I think I might be happy)
(I said it in parenthesis because saying it out loud might jinx it)
(I don't want to have to buy myself a coke.)
(unless it has whisky in it)
(and then I'd just drink the whisky)

20 December 2008

Christmas 1: North Carolina

So here I am in NC. WIth my stripped down log cabin in the middle of suburbia. My parents are hardly here so no cable, no wireless, and everything is wrapped up in black plastic from the fumigation of 3 weeks ago. I'm accepting the forced isolation, it's making me think about things I need to think about. And hanging out with mum is good too. Will type more soon.

17 December 2008

Walking après minuit

Featured Artist: Lilly Allen

Absolutly Nothing

Par Coeur

I'm not exactly sure when it was that you decided to make yourself known. Or maybe you switched yourself on.
My previously invisible, and suddenly quite tangible heart.
For the longest time I thought you were just an organ. An echo inside of myself.
I suppose I was afraid that perhaps you did have the potential to do what people told me you could do.
And you did it, despite myself. I tried to keep you closed, but you opened. Now that you wont shut properly I find myself changed. I'm a little more fragile, and bewildered than I was. More unsure and in alot more pain.
It's sad that that I at long last learned how to feel you only to feel what it's like to feel you breaking.
And to know that it was myself that broke you. Now every love song I thought was odd and sappy has a message and I understand it. All this fuss that buzzed about being in love and wanting to connect with someone I understand a little more. Not completely, seeing as how when the opportunity presented itself I ran in terror.

But were you breaking? Or were you just feeling a void of something that you'd felt there and were suddenly so spectacularly aware of its absence that it left us heart tied and melancholy. I do deserve you. Granted I do need to start taking care of you now that I can better feel you. There ought to be a warning label on the bottles of antidepressants that warns that this medication will cause emotions and you ought to be prepared to handle them. I'd like to think that I'd be better able to handle this sort of thing in the future, be less skittish. More allowing. Less in my head and more in the moment.

Now I suppose we just wait until the next 1 in 10,000 finds us.
Let's make a deal not to fuck up so royaly next time.

16 December 2008

Fun with Photoshop

I've always maintained a little bit of the punk influence of my childhood.

14 December 2008

This made me smile.

On the menu today...


I went to a birthday party for one of Dennis' best friends last night in Algeirs. Which was nice. I got poured full of beer and mind blowing brownies and canoli. Dennis proceeded to ignore me for the rest of the night, mostly after his new guy arrived. (Might I add that he is beautiful and there is no way I can even compete (and to whom I was pointedly unintroduced.)) So I hung out with the other guests, lots of super friendly lesbians who taught me to throw darts underhand. Also a couple of other guys I know were there so it was less awkward than it could've been.

Having called the taxi service early out of allowance for it to make the trip across the river, I was outside smoking in shame when it arrived. I ran back in and said good bye to everyone I'd talked to, except D. Petty, yes. Rude, Absolutely. Despite how I felt I was treated I should've made the effort to find him and say goodnight. I feel quite sucky about what I did. We shall see what the reprocusions will be.

Think before acting, think before acting, think before acting.
You can not blame all of your errors in judgement on sweets and alcohol.

12 December 2008

Icky Thump

I finished my third semester of torture at Tulane yesterday. This involved me staying awake for 38 hours while I made up for some serious procrastinating, which may have involved me coming home on two separate occasions long past the next morning.
The fall gallery was tolerable if not quite beautiful this time around. I was given fantastic feed back, and ignored completely by the devil incarnate costuming "professor and his protogee. Which is fine with me. Melissa and I skipped out after reviews and had fantastic japanese next to the sno-cone shop that might just be a front for a crack den. Then I went home and slept before waking up at ten to hang out with Mel again at One Eyed Jack's where she was the object of a very persistent young man.

Am very much looking forward to holiday travel this time around. I can't remember the last time I flew with my mum.

This cake just isn't done.

Love ridden, Ive looked at you
With the focus I gave to my birthday candles
Ive wished on the lidded blue flames
Under your brow
And baby, I wished for you
Nobody sees when you are lying in your bed
And I wanna crawl in with you
But I cry instead
I want your warm, but it will only make
Me colder when its over
So I cant tonight, baby
No, not baby anymore - if I need you
Ill just use your simple name
Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while, well only have to wave

-Fiona Apple

Expicable Crush: Cole Mohr

....I mean seriously.

Featured Artist: Sigur Rós

A beautiful film about a brilliant band doing beautiful things.

11 December 2008


The first post-Katrina Snow in New Orleans.

04 December 2008

I wasn't tagged but I'm doing it anyway...

just because I like answering questions....in writing. I blame BWP.

10 years ago:
I was majoring in drawing. Discovering the benefits of having a credit card, and wandering around Brooklyn drunk and lost on Halloween.
8 years ago:
I was living in Philidelphia, working as an assistant to some costume designers and going to the gym nearly every day. And reading alot. I was a little lonely.

6 years ago:
My Gran died suddenly prompting me to abandon my life as an assistant and move back to Albuquerque to get my second BFA in drawing and painting. It was one of my happiest years ever.

2 years ago:
I moved to New Orleans to get my MFA in Costume Design while wondering how I got sucked into theatre again.

Five yummy things:
1. Bacon
2. Tangawizi Ginger Ale, which is only sold in Africa.
3. Peanut butter bacon burgers
4. Porterhouses
5. Apples and almond butter

Five songs I know by heart:
1. Ne Me Quitte Pas by Jacques Brel
2. Venus as a boy by Bjork
3. Sous le ciel de Paris by Juliette Greco
4. Crazy on you by Heart
5. Little Bit, by Lykke Li

Five places I would like to escape to:
1. Paris, France
2. Sardinia
3. Buenos Aires, Argentina
4. The Seychelles
5. The Pacific Northwest, I've never been.

Five things I would never wear:
2. white socks
3. Cable knit sweaters
4. Denim jackets
5. Motorcycle boots

Five favorite TV shows:
1. Sesame Street
2. Pushing Dasies
3. Charlie Rose
4. Fashion Television
5. The Bernie Mac Show

Five things I enjoy doing:
1. Drawing
3. Dancing
4. Traveling
5. Wishing, Hoping and Praying I will be his.

Five Favorite toys:
1. Prismacolour Drawing supplies
2. BFK papers
3. Photoshop
4. Mitre Saws
5. Paint

Five people who I am tagging to fill this out:

I don't really know anyone that would do it. I think.