06 September 2009
Things are progressing in their usual cloudy manner. Everything like clockwork with a
good measure of fog tossed in to blind the eventuality of the path.
I have things to write about, but am unsure how to write about them.
Questions of work.
What inspired me to decide to make this my life?
Especially since I not so secretly hate it. Well, I dont hate it, so much
as the general "did it all myself" attitude of most of the people who work
in it. Collaboration apparenly does not mean what it used to. At times
these people turn into the "you all work for me" people and it is these
ones that made me stop smoking.
Questions of relationships.
How do you single handedly resolve a situation
to which there is no resolution? In other words, how do you stop feeling drawn
to someone who has stopped feeling the same way (if he ever actually did), and
who never gave you the oppertunity to close your door? And if I am still feeling
this way is it fair to open other doors to people? Who is it that I am waiting for?
Do I not wait? Do I act? And if so what is the recourse when action does not engage
Overwhelming life questions.
What am I going to do when I leave here? Which is linked to the theatre question.
Why do I waste so much time? Why do I knowingly make bad decisions, like smoking or not sleeping enough.
Underwhelming life questions.
Cook at home or get take away? Separate dark colours from not so dark colours when
doing laundry, or not? Vaccum the rug, or continue to idly stare at the accumulating dust?
And the real question?
When can I get past all this and get on with it?