Crush

(where the lights end)

Décrocher Les Étoiles

Right


Left



Inky.
I've been told they were addictive.
It's true.
They are.

Featured Artist: Roisin Murphy

I know it's a repeat. But she is just so damn good.
For those of you that doubt, watch the video.

(Overpowered, Live)
You see?
Here is some more.

(primitive)

you're welcome.

there is a light above my head

I need to concentrate on finding small things that make me happy and build from there.
I need to let go of things I cannot change.
I need to give up the alcohol because it makes me a little pointlessly loose with the truth.
I need to focus on the reason I am here.
I need to be more aware of who I am.

Featured Artist: José González

Teardrop (massive attack cover)

smile: M & M

Morning

I woke up to men swinging from the trees outside my bedroom window.
On the third floor. He was a little burly and had a beard.
God is teasing me.







Orange Roses from Whole Foods


A very scandinavian breakfast


cleanliness is next to godliness



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Smile: so true

From Vökuró

Hjúfrar lind
leynt við brekkurót
vakir eins og við
lífi trútt
kyrrlátt kalda vermsl
augum djúps
útí himinfyrrð
starir stillt um nótt

Nesting spring
Hid at the hill's root
Awake as are we
Faith in life
Quiet cold spring
Eye of the depths
Into the firmament
Staring still in the night

yeah, it's official.

On such an historic day, as I read headlines about racial lines falling and acceptance at an all time high,
I learn that my inklings were right.

I can't get a date in this town because for the majority of people here, on both sides, I'm the wrong ccolour.

I was just informed of this in a chat room where guys were pondering the swearing in of Joe Biden as president following President Obama's assassination. This, as I ,a representative of three continents, am watching his inauguration speech.

I can't say I'm surprised, every guy I meet want's a list of my ethnic make-up within 3 minutes of conversation.
I was also told that I could not have speak with a british accent because I'm not white.

I think the biggest cause for consternation with the south for me is reconciling it's amazing beauty with a lot of the people who inhabit it. On the other hand I suppose my endeavor to stop looking for a boyfriend can be more easily let go with this new bit of information. I guess I just have to let it come to me, and find other ways to give in the mean time; volunteer, assist, give.

Disheartening but not a cause for the abandonment of my hopes.
I have to hope.
Other wise I need to start accumulating cats.

Le Weekend

This weekend makes up for last weekend by leaps and bounds.

Friday:

A seven hour demolition of a set in one of the university theatres.
Followed by cocktails at Philips Bar. Where Laura and I unwittingly crashed a
private birthday party. The birthday boy allowed us to stay, mingle and
enjoy his bar of 3 dollar cocktails. Then it was off to 45 Tchoup, for a few
TGVs after which I chatted up a couple of people about tattoos.
When I woke up the next morning I had no idea where my ID was.

Saturday:

Woke up at noon. Stayed in bed till four.
Went to a meeting with my department head at five, who told me that I might
have to intern in South Africa instead of Romania due to language issues.
Wandered over to Whole Foods for chicken soup, the plain one with spinach
because the good one with orzo wasn't there. Blueberries for desert. Tried
to get a bottle of D'Anjou Rose also, but my ID was in my trouser pocket
from the night before. Got home ate soup, was fed internet painkillers
and beer by my roomate. The most blissful evening of watching 2 series disques
of friends followed. Was asleep by nine. Slept until seven.

Sunday:
Stayed in bed watching the day start grey and rainy and go to blue and warm by eleven.
Left bed at around noon for lunch with Garret. Who despite being a
budding minister and involved does not stop being one of the sexiest people
I know. We had lunch at the Gumbo House. Desert at Jagerhaus.

A visit to Mel, behind the bar at the Copper Monkey followed before going back uptown.
An Hour later I had a gelato date with Laura at Sucre. Brown Butter Pecan Gelato.

Afterward we raided the cigar shop across the street for discarded cigar boxes.
I might have gazed a bit too long the attendant who looked a little like Seth Rogan.
Later I tried to go back to The Pub in the quarter, it was packed and had a pleasant vibe.
But I felt sick and went home by eleven.

Monday:
Woke up at seven, got out of bed at nine for breakfast with Mel at Surreys.
The Montana Breakfast, it seems, is code for three pig platter.
Bacon, Sausage, and Ham. Served with potatoes, I of course heaped
on a side of grits because I need all those calories right. I got through
most of the meat, all the potatoes, and about half of the grits.
Later I went on an adventure through a New Orleans housing project
to get to a secret puppet show. When we got to the space it
was a seriously dilapidated warehouse. We drove around it three
times before calling to make this was the place. It had a secret knock
and everything. This is what I found inside.

Wen the light swent out I saw a story about a dinosaur who learns to love. And who can wield a light saber.
nive volt batteries, 12 volt marine batteries, painted wire and soe dark and you have a seriously
intelligent and beautiful piece of theatre. I loved it. And no there was not heat in the warehouse.

Bottega Veneta

I'm loving it. Various layers of camel and tan. Right up my alley.

Featured Artist: Lilly Allen

Womanier

crush

it's all over...

...but seems to flow around me.

I'm open. I'm willing.I'm ready and still quite alone.
All of my friends are couples. When I go out I'm surrounded.
When I see a movie, there it is. I ride the trolly to school daily with at least three
awe struck couples dreaming of lives lived on the avenue.

I know if you look for it, it won't come. I know it finds you but I just want the sensation of
another physical presence next to me. I understad the rule of needing to give in order to recive,
but what do you do when ou cant find reception?

I get the "you're cute but the wrong colour" thing often. From all sides. And I'm multiethnic.

What do I do with that?

Where I am

New Roomate




Things that make me work a little better:
antidepressants, Guache, Green Chile from home, whisky, Victor & Rolf's Antidote, ipod.


Morning Light


mirrored Converse


frequent Napping

smile: sigh

Smile: Disturbingly Cute

They are balloon animals for god's sake!
(perhaps rubber animals in this case.)

Featured Artist: Kings of Convenience

Misread.

....so why bees?

I've gotten a few questions as to why I chose to get the tattoo I have, so I will try to tell as much as I can.

The Bees:
For a few years now I have been making drawings, narrative figure drawings, of interactions between various characters.
Not wanting to rely solely on facial expression and body language, and not wanting to add thought bubbles, I developed
a series of visual symbols. This is where the bees came from, as representations of knowledge, learning, and awareness.
In a drawing where someone is eating a bee they are taking in some sort of information.

The Words:
Rien Trouvé (nothing found) on the right. Rien Perdu (nothing lost) on the left (as a Mirror)

Early this winter I had a couple of awakenings. The first was realizing I had found love after loosing it, a bit rough on the
scale of wake-up calls. And a text my Mum gave me to read that resounded with some close held methods for living that
I wasn't using to my full capability. Until now. A light has gone on, I understand how I need to live with a ton more clarity.
The words, although they sound like downers and odd at first, are reminders that this physical world I live in, is not what makes me. I was born an undying entity in a body that is temporal. What I find here, I eventually have to leave here because
it's not really mine at all. It's like a rented existence, I can amass all I want, and still not find anything if I can't enjoy it to it's fullest.

In short, they remind me to be happy in all I do. Or at least to try. To try to be aware of each moment I have here and to avoid making past mistakes with out dwelling on them.

Indeed

stolen from mondmelodie.

Caroline of the North, in Exile

I am looking forward to getting back to NOLA. Tomorrow morning at 6am I will be on board the plane.
Alot of signs have popped up telling me that although I love that town, it's not really where I am meant to stay.
At least for now. But signs change you know. The future is infinitely maleable, things change, I change.
One day at a time. No expectations. I think I'd like to introduce myself to Dennis' Donald, he seems like a
great guy and if I wait for Dennis to do it I might die from the wait. What do I have to loose? I mean, Really.



I'm reading Camus again. And getting through most of the articles in all the old style mags I have stashed here at mums.
She has also gotten into it and is now a fan of Esquire.



I've developed a small crush on Cinnabon. All those times I passed it up in airports thinking that it was way too sweet and
a little hokey. I was wrong. It's a little ray of light. Sticky, nut covered light.

Caroline du Nord, Encore

So here I am in NC.
Reading magazines instead of just looking at the pictures and rearranging Mum's furniture.
Going back to NOLA saturday morning. A little surprised at how much I missed it. My adoptive
convenient little city that feels like a village. I missed being able to go out whenever and take my drink with me.
I missed being able to walk around in a t-shirt with out fearing the fall of night and it's ensuing wrath of frost.
I missed riding in cabs, and chicory in my coffee. And the street cars and uneven sidewalks. I missed the friends
I left there, although it was very nice seeing the ones I left behind before.
New Orleans is a little like home to me now.
I like that.

This made me smile.

Never ceases to make the day a bit brighter

I'm a painted lady.

Resolutions

1. No Expectations

2.No Complaining

3. No unsolicited opinions

4. Be more open

5. Get past my ego

6. Don't take things personally

7. Two ways of doing things: Accept them and do the best I can, or Enjoy what it is that I do. If not, stop doing it and leave.

New Year's Day

Breakfast at Garcia's Kitchen.






Mmmm....menudo.

Heading back up to Santa Fe with Daryl for more spa and museum/gallery viewing.

That's Daryl below last night at the Press Club. Rockabilly Bluegrass New Years......yep.

We eventually went to hang out with the bears at Sidewinders bar.

It was a good night.
Daryl got propositioned three times. :)

New Years Eve

Got up this morning to meet my friends Jesse & James and their lovely little Abigail for a trip into the mountains to go sledding.
Jess' sister Chistina came along as did the adorable Barkley, who despite wearing a chic little puppy jacket was a bit chilled.
Thank God id skipped breakfast because inner tubes go the speed of light down a snow packed hillside.
I swear that one tree in particular had it out for me. I only flew ten feet into the air once, but the lack of waterproof trousers
ensured that my ass was quite wet for the ride home. The G wagon was equipped with heated rear seats though so I mannaged to
get through it. On our way back down we stopped off and ate some amazing pulled pork sandwiches. Amazing
because we were all exhausted from climbing back up the snow packed hillsides at 12,000 feet of altitude.